Warped Logic

Below is a verbatim transcript of an e-mail I received recently from a relative no less; actually I’ve received it several times, but the last time was the straw that broke the camel’s back. It was asking me to add my name to some 1,800 names at the bottom as a petition to President Bush to, I gather, protect the Pledge of Allegiance presumably from those nasty liberals like me (which of course, raises the question of why I got it in the first place, but that’s another discussion). Although sorely tempted to “attack” this for its utterly atrocious grammar and punctuation (I am a former English teacher after all), I’m going to resist that temptation and simply offer some thoughts on the wholly warped logic involved in this so-called petition:

“When I was in grade school and Jr. High school, and even high school, I use to recite the pledge. Back then it was just something to say to start your day, Now that I'm older, and some what wiser, I feel that My children and yours are being cheated out of something that our country stands for, By taking this away, this is a slap in the face to everyone one of the men and women that over seas protecting us. Even if you agree or disagree for the reason they are over there. None of these people jumped up and down and yelled "I'll go, I'll go". They are over there protecting us, so we can PROUDLY say, ''ONE NATION UNDER GOD IN DIVENSABLE WITH LIBERTY AND JUSTICE FOR ALL" If you feel that you can not say this, then don't, but don't make me stop saying it, because I may hurt your feelings, WHAT ABOUT MINE?”

First, what exactly is it that you are “being cheated out of”? You can still say the Pledge of Allegiance just like you did in grade school and junior high school and even high school. None of us nasty liberals that I am aware of has ever said that you can’t say the Pledge, although that is clearly what you’ve implied. In other words, you are making the issue black and white when it really isn't.

Second, what exactly is it that “our country stands for” and that “my children and yours are being cheated out of”? This is one of those wonderfully vague but high-sounding generalities that can mean anything you want it to mean and, therefore, really means nothing at all. For example, I believe that what “our country stands for” IS my right to object to “under God” being mandated by Congress. So, as far as I'm concerned, your logic equally supported my position.

Third, (and this is my favorite), how is my objecting to “under God” being required in the Pledge “a slap in the face to every one of the men and women that are overseas protecting us”? If I understand your logic correctly, the right that you seem to be suggesting they are “protecting” is really only the right to agree with you and (presumably) them. Which is no "right" at all.

I’m sure it is no surprise that I deleted the so-called petition.